The wisdom of a child

I feel the urge to share a childhood memory.

I have two moments in my childhood that will be forever burned into my mind. I see them today as clearly and vibrantly as if they had happened just moments ago.

My father and I used to watch the CBS News together every night when I was a little boy in the late 1960's. I remember every night seeing the flags of North Vietnam and the United States and seeing numbers alongside each, tallying the total dead in that day's fighting. There was always a map of the country of Vietnam with a little "explosion" of where that days fighting had happened.

I remember asking my father the question "What are we fighting about?" And I remember just as vividly his answer, "I don't know."

I remember film, with Walter Cronkite's voice describing people of color being blasted with water cannons, attacked by dogs, beaten by police with clubs. I remember hearing Walter Cronkite say that such things were happening because a black man had decided to sit at a lunch counter and have dinner with other men.

I remember asking my father, "Why can't black people eat with white people?". And I remember just as vividly his answer, "I don't know."

For a history teacher, my father obviously didn't know very much.

I do remember reassuring him on this occasion, saying as only a naive seven year old boy could say, "Well one day I'm going to own a restaurant and I'm going to let anybody eat in it who wants to."

I remember his smile. I also remember he didn't say a word. At that time I didn't know that my father had been through that horror personally. He played on a college baseball team that had black players on their roster. On trips they had been denied service at many restaurants they had stopped at because of their team mates. I am proud to say that my father's team left those restaurants without eating.

For me I simply found the whole thing completely baffling. As a child I could honestly see no difference between a black person, a yellow person, a purple person or a white person. People were people. It is still a struggle for me to understand a fear of another person for any reason.

As I have become older I begin to realize that the more things change, the more they stay the same. We are involved in a senseless war overseas that claims fathers, sons and husbands everyday, for no good reason. We claim to be rid of our prejudice, but the simple truth is that we just hide it better and have found other recipients for that scorn.

I find myself wondering just exactly what Dr. King would think of this world today. Would he feel that we have advanced at all 40 years later?

I wonder what would happen if we could all have the innocence of a child, and I realize what Jesus meant when he said that only a child could enter the kingdom of heaven.

Better to be silent and thought an idiot than to open your mouth and remove all doubt

You know it appears to me that Charlie Weis missed out on the biggest lesson that his mentor Bill Belichick could have taught him...the less you say, the better.

Things that have been straining to get out

You know the more I think about it, why didn't Taylor Swift just have her werewolf boyfriend tear the #%$@ out of Kanye?

Everybody is missing the boat on this Tiger Woods thing. He was just demonstrating the safety features of the new Cadillac Escalade...

By the way, I've heard the "Voice Mail" message; Listen closely the next time you YouTube it. That's not Tiger. It's John Gosselin.

Do you think that Charlie Weis got fired at Notre Dame because of too few wins, or was it because South Bend was running out of ribs and feared his wrath?

Somebody else said this one (sorry I can't remember who) but I really liked it;
"You know, Jay Cutler is just good enough to get coaches fired."

What? Adam Lambert is gay? NO WAY!!

The Ballad of Tim Tebow

I believe that University of Florida starting quarterback Tim Tebow is a great young man and role model, and arguably the greatest college football player of all time.

However the way some speak of him and some of the "legend" that has grown up around a guy who is only 22 years old has led me to the belief that one day scholars will claim he traveled the country with a giant Blue Ox named "Babe".

With the help of my son Elijah, I decided to get a head start on the tall tales which may one day accompany the Legend of Tim Tebow. Feel free to add your own...

Tim Tebow had a class his first semester at the University of Florida that was on the other side of the Gulf of Mexico. He walked to it everyday.

Before the Georgia game 50,000 fans hadn't eaten for two days having had to stand in line to get tickets. Tebow fed them all with two bags of popcorn and a hot dog and had five garbage bags of left overs.

Recently adventurers discovered a lost tribe in the jungles of New Guinea that worship the image of Tim Tebow.

Tebow once won a high school game having his hospital bed wheeled out onto the field and throwing a 60 yard last second touchdown pass, while in a coma.

The Gators once had a live alligator as a mascot until the day the beast escaped it's handlers and attacked a four year old girl on the sideline. In the huddle, seeing the tragedy unfolding, Tebow called his own number on a sweep to that same sideline, tore the beast off the girl, wrestling it into it's cage before it could harm the child, and scoring the winning touchdown at the same time.

On a mission trip in a remote section of the Congo, Tebow found himself lacking vaccine to combat a malaria outbreak amongst the tribe. Grinding his game ball from last year's National Championship game into a pot of boiling water and adding some local herbs, he cured several villages of the disease.

Chuck Norris flinches when Tebow fake punches him.

Tebow tried to throw a 90 yard touchdown pass to the Incredible Hulk in an exhibition game, but it was too hard for the Hulk to handle.

Tebow is constantly on call by the city of Tokyo in case Godzilla ever decides to attack again.

Tebow has turned down the last two Nobel Peace Prizes, preferring his National Championship rings.

Anyone within a 25 yard radius of Tebow has no fears from the Swine Flu.

The SEC has discussed disbanding when Tebow graduates.

Random Thoughts

Daylight Savings Time
Do they call it that because nobody is outside when there is daylight anymore so we don't absorb any of it?


Move it along...
When is this debate over health care going to be over so that we can get on to something that's really important to the American people...

Who's going to be the next American Idol?


Up, up and away...
Get off of the family and start blaming Pixar for the balloon boy thing.

They are passionate film makers and were simply trying to do a re-make of the summer blockbuster hit "Up".


Trying to figure it out...
Have you seen this "Toddlers and Tiaras" show on TLC? What the hell is this? Are they airing evidence tapes from Child Protective Services?


Get your red hots...!
Okay, here's the explanation for the sturm und drang over New York Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez eating a hot dog on the sideline during a game.

The problem isn't that Sanchez was eating something on the sideline. There are power bars, sunflower seeds, etc. on every bench and dugout in America. The problem is a respect for the game you're playing and your opponent.

The perception is that you are saying this is so easy we'll all just have a picnic and still kick you around. Most teams from little league to the pros have rules against eating on the bench for just that reason. You should be thinking about the game and your opponent, not looking at a wine list.

No matter how out of reach the game may seem, you don't wheel the buffet onto the sideline in the third quarter.

It's about protocol, decorum and respect. C'mon. It would be like a Senator bringing nachos into the State of the Union Address.

Although come to think of it, they did have beer on the White House lawn awhile back...

Thinking too much

I'm sure that I've come to this realization later than most but it seems to me that the reason a lot of people don't want to see the light at the end of the tunnel is because they really prefer hiding in the darkness.

A Disclaimer

The immortal Canadian Power Rock Trio "Rush" would like to make it perfectly clear that they are in perfect agreement with the St. Louis Rams and the NFL and are not owned nor are they a tribute band for American big mouth and moron Rush Limbaugh.

Any use of the name Rush without the express written consent of the Commissioner of the Canadian Football League Geddy Lee, Alex Lifeson or Neil Peart is prohibited.

Don't be taken in by the slick PR campaign...

Vampires are not our friends.

They just want to suck our blood and steal our women.


Wait a minute...Should I be afraid that that sounds exactly like the slogan George Wallace used when he ran for President?

When Raul showed up at work that morning, his boss guessed something was up.

Won't that be fun?

Everytime I see these kids I realize there are eight little Danny Bonaduce's headed straight for us.

And they'll all hit about the same time.

Do you want these guys in charge of your health care?

If President Obama and his Marxist-Leninist thugs get their way, that will be the case.

By the way, did you know if we even talk about changing health care the way it is;

-Leeches will be the only approved treatment for cancer.

-Panels will be convened to euthanize anyone contracting the swine flu.

-Roving bands of wild dogs will be unleashed in emergency rooms to thin out patient lines.

-People with "pre-existing" conditions will be placed in "Relocation Hospitals".

So remember - Don't even THINK about changing the health care system from the way it is, or a meteorite will hit the planet and vaporize us all.

IF WE CHANGE HEALTH CARE, THE TERRORISTS WIN.

*This message paid for by the Committee Appointed to Scare the Crap Out of Everybody for no Reason Whatsoever in Order to Kill Reforms that Might Not Help the Rich Get Richer, and The National Coalition of People Still Pissed Off We Lost the Election...Rush Limbaugh, President.*

Donnelly talks health care with Plymouth residents

By Rusty Nixon
Correspondent

PLYMOUTH – Congressman Joe Donnelly was in Plymouth to speak to the “Breakfast Club” at Pilgrim Manor on health care issues, and so far he isn’t in need of any medical assistance himself.
“I was talking with my friend and fellow Congressman Fred Upton (R – Michigan) the other day and he said, ‘I heard you had a town hall meeting with 250 people at it the other day,’” Donnelly told the crowd. “’If you don’t mind me asking are you still intact?’ I told him yes and he asked my secret. I told him to make sure you go to Church the day before.”
While there were no angry placards or overly harsh words, Donnelly did address concerned questions from those in attendance about current health care legislation before Congress. His main theme – be careful what you believe.
“A lot of the things you’re reading on the internet are not the way things are,” said Donnelly. “I had a woman at a meeting the other day tell me that she watched cable news before she went to bed and it made her so upset that she couldn’t sleep and asked my advice. I told her that I would turn off the TV and listen to a Frank Sinatra record. A lot of the things you are seeing on the news have no relationship to what we are actually working on.”
Donnelly spent much of his time urging his audience to “…have trust that there is some common sense left…” and outlining in detail the choices before Congress on the matter of health care. First of which is the fact that there isn’t just one bill up for consideration, but five different approaches.
“No bill has been voted on and this is a discussion with the American people,” said Donnelly. “The simple fact is that in 15-20 years our current health care system is not financially sustainable. We have to fix it.”
Donnelly stated that as a “Blue Dog” Democrat, he favored an approach that would have no cost, or such considerable cost savings that would make if fiscally responsible. He said that Senator’s Ron Wyden of Oregon and Bob Bennett of Utah have introduced such a plan.
“Some people just want to create controversy,” said Donnelly. “It’s hard to restore confidence to the American people when there are those out there talking about ‘Death Panels’. There are no such thing. A man at a meeting in Logansport who had a son with Down’s Syndrome that he called the ‘light of his life’ asked me why we would cut health care for people with Down’s Syndrome. He’d read it on the computer. Totally untrue. Why would anybody deny care to people who need it?”
He also outlined what he would like to see in any plan.
“I want to see competition,” said Donnelly. “I don’t want just one company bidding on your health care. I want four or five different companies competing for it as well. I want to keep the government out of it as much as possible, but we have to have a competitive system.”

Attention Producers of Burn Notice...My suggested plot line

Because he was a faithful viewer of the show "Burn Notice" Raul was prepared for just such an eventuality and using a wad of chewing gum, a shoe lace and simple household bleach he was able to easily extricate himself from his difficulty and snuff out the evil spy ring that threatened Democracy and toilets as we know them.

My new radio commercial

SFX - Mysterious music plays underneath

VOICE OVER

They say he drafted his first social reform legislation in 1951...Ten years before he was born.

He often completely redesigns entire economic systems...before breakfast.

He turned down Lassie...as a family pet.

He is...The Most Interesting President in the World.

BARACK OBAMA

I don't always drink beer, but when I do it's usually a pointless public relations stunt on the White House lawn.

Stay thirsty my friends.

In spite of the vaccine, Biff feared he might be turning French...

Biff and Raul's experiments in genetic engineering were all fun and games...until the day they crossed that wolverine with a blender...

My Speech Team Thingy

*Special thanks to John Verteramo for the photo.*

As I start this little memoir I have two confessions to make to Dan Tyree that have weighed heavily on my mind over the past 30 years, and I feel that I must come clean to purge my soul.

#1 – Yes, Dan, I did sleep in my suit on Friday nights so that I didn’t have to get up so early on Saturday morning.

I know that you conjectured on it, and even directly asked me about it several times but I was always able to skirt the issue by pointing and shouting, “Look behind you! A dinosaur!” and then running quickly the other way and shouting, “I don’t want to be late for my round.”

#2 – Yes, Dan, I did sit on top of a desk in the back corner of the classroom to deliver part of my speech in one of my state finals rounds, and, yes, there was a judge seated directly in front of me.

I was just following your instruction to converse with my audience and not talk at them. I got all ones in that round if it’s any consolation.

I think those two things kind of sum up our first team. Not that we were slovenly dressed and more than a little kooky – although we were. More that we had no idea what we were doing.

Nobody told us that you were NEVER supposed to be unorthodox. Nobody told us a first year team should NEVER be able to score the way we did. Nobody told us a team with only five entries could NEVER finish in the top three in the state championship – and might have actually won it if that idiot in Original Oratory hadn’t gotten a 6 from one of his judges in the final round. The critique was the guy’s suit looked like he’d slept in it, if I remember right.

Like most idiot savants we didn’t know what we were doing – we just did it.

I’m sure that everybody that shares here is going to write about the skills they learned from being part of the program: Enormous self confidence; To examine things critically and logically; To prepare tirelessly; To think quickly on your feet; and above all to communicate.

Every job that I have ever held I have gotten because of what I learned in Speech.

It was more than that for me. When I was a senior in high school Dan Tyree introduced me to the theatre. My English teacher, Norm Wagner, introduced me to William Shakespeare. I never would have found either on my own. With those skills I then was able to meet another man, the late Dr. Earl Reimer at Bethel College, who completed the job they had started in helping me to discover who I was.

Without the theatre and Shakespeare, my life would have been greatly diminished, and a much darker place.

I have had so many moments of joy in my life, moments of beauty, exhilaration, and sheer ecstasy in the time I spent writing and acting for the stage. So many moments with dear friends sharing those moments. So many lifelong, deep, important relationships that I never would have had without Dan Tyree walking up to me in the lunchroom in September of 1979 and saying, “We’re doing this play and I was wondering…”

Who would have thought that three of us, riding in Dan and Becky’s van to Logansport at 5 a.m. one Saturday, would turn into this?

I do have to relate my favorite speech memory of all – a true moment that will be burned forever in my memory: hitchhiking down the interstate in Georgia with Dan during spring break.

For the full story on that you will have to wait for my tell all book, “All I Ever Needed to Know I Learned in Speech”.

Addiction

I tried this. It doesn't work. Anymore.

Just thinking some things through...

If a tree falls in the forest, does the Pope trip over it and fall into the bear?

Pitching a new TV show

Jon and Kate minus $10,000,000?
What do you think?