Better to be silent and thought an idiot than to open your mouth and remove all doubt

You know it appears to me that Charlie Weis missed out on the biggest lesson that his mentor Bill Belichick could have taught him...the less you say, the better.

Things that have been straining to get out

You know the more I think about it, why didn't Taylor Swift just have her werewolf boyfriend tear the #%$@ out of Kanye?

Everybody is missing the boat on this Tiger Woods thing. He was just demonstrating the safety features of the new Cadillac Escalade...

By the way, I've heard the "Voice Mail" message; Listen closely the next time you YouTube it. That's not Tiger. It's John Gosselin.

Do you think that Charlie Weis got fired at Notre Dame because of too few wins, or was it because South Bend was running out of ribs and feared his wrath?

Somebody else said this one (sorry I can't remember who) but I really liked it;
"You know, Jay Cutler is just good enough to get coaches fired."

What? Adam Lambert is gay? NO WAY!!

The Ballad of Tim Tebow

I believe that University of Florida starting quarterback Tim Tebow is a great young man and role model, and arguably the greatest college football player of all time.

However the way some speak of him and some of the "legend" that has grown up around a guy who is only 22 years old has led me to the belief that one day scholars will claim he traveled the country with a giant Blue Ox named "Babe".

With the help of my son Elijah, I decided to get a head start on the tall tales which may one day accompany the Legend of Tim Tebow. Feel free to add your own...

Tim Tebow had a class his first semester at the University of Florida that was on the other side of the Gulf of Mexico. He walked to it everyday.

Before the Georgia game 50,000 fans hadn't eaten for two days having had to stand in line to get tickets. Tebow fed them all with two bags of popcorn and a hot dog and had five garbage bags of left overs.

Recently adventurers discovered a lost tribe in the jungles of New Guinea that worship the image of Tim Tebow.

Tebow once won a high school game having his hospital bed wheeled out onto the field and throwing a 60 yard last second touchdown pass, while in a coma.

The Gators once had a live alligator as a mascot until the day the beast escaped it's handlers and attacked a four year old girl on the sideline. In the huddle, seeing the tragedy unfolding, Tebow called his own number on a sweep to that same sideline, tore the beast off the girl, wrestling it into it's cage before it could harm the child, and scoring the winning touchdown at the same time.

On a mission trip in a remote section of the Congo, Tebow found himself lacking vaccine to combat a malaria outbreak amongst the tribe. Grinding his game ball from last year's National Championship game into a pot of boiling water and adding some local herbs, he cured several villages of the disease.

Chuck Norris flinches when Tebow fake punches him.

Tebow tried to throw a 90 yard touchdown pass to the Incredible Hulk in an exhibition game, but it was too hard for the Hulk to handle.

Tebow is constantly on call by the city of Tokyo in case Godzilla ever decides to attack again.

Tebow has turned down the last two Nobel Peace Prizes, preferring his National Championship rings.

Anyone within a 25 yard radius of Tebow has no fears from the Swine Flu.

The SEC has discussed disbanding when Tebow graduates.

Random Thoughts

Daylight Savings Time
Do they call it that because nobody is outside when there is daylight anymore so we don't absorb any of it?


Move it along...
When is this debate over health care going to be over so that we can get on to something that's really important to the American people...

Who's going to be the next American Idol?


Up, up and away...
Get off of the family and start blaming Pixar for the balloon boy thing.

They are passionate film makers and were simply trying to do a re-make of the summer blockbuster hit "Up".


Trying to figure it out...
Have you seen this "Toddlers and Tiaras" show on TLC? What the hell is this? Are they airing evidence tapes from Child Protective Services?


Get your red hots...!
Okay, here's the explanation for the sturm und drang over New York Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez eating a hot dog on the sideline during a game.

The problem isn't that Sanchez was eating something on the sideline. There are power bars, sunflower seeds, etc. on every bench and dugout in America. The problem is a respect for the game you're playing and your opponent.

The perception is that you are saying this is so easy we'll all just have a picnic and still kick you around. Most teams from little league to the pros have rules against eating on the bench for just that reason. You should be thinking about the game and your opponent, not looking at a wine list.

No matter how out of reach the game may seem, you don't wheel the buffet onto the sideline in the third quarter.

It's about protocol, decorum and respect. C'mon. It would be like a Senator bringing nachos into the State of the Union Address.

Although come to think of it, they did have beer on the White House lawn awhile back...

Thinking too much

I'm sure that I've come to this realization later than most but it seems to me that the reason a lot of people don't want to see the light at the end of the tunnel is because they really prefer hiding in the darkness.

A Disclaimer

The immortal Canadian Power Rock Trio "Rush" would like to make it perfectly clear that they are in perfect agreement with the St. Louis Rams and the NFL and are not owned nor are they a tribute band for American big mouth and moron Rush Limbaugh.

Any use of the name Rush without the express written consent of the Commissioner of the Canadian Football League Geddy Lee, Alex Lifeson or Neil Peart is prohibited.

Don't be taken in by the slick PR campaign...

Vampires are not our friends.

They just want to suck our blood and steal our women.


Wait a minute...Should I be afraid that that sounds exactly like the slogan George Wallace used when he ran for President?

When Raul showed up at work that morning, his boss guessed something was up.

Won't that be fun?

Everytime I see these kids I realize there are eight little Danny Bonaduce's headed straight for us.

And they'll all hit about the same time.

Do you want these guys in charge of your health care?

If President Obama and his Marxist-Leninist thugs get their way, that will be the case.

By the way, did you know if we even talk about changing health care the way it is;

-Leeches will be the only approved treatment for cancer.

-Panels will be convened to euthanize anyone contracting the swine flu.

-Roving bands of wild dogs will be unleashed in emergency rooms to thin out patient lines.

-People with "pre-existing" conditions will be placed in "Relocation Hospitals".

So remember - Don't even THINK about changing the health care system from the way it is, or a meteorite will hit the planet and vaporize us all.

IF WE CHANGE HEALTH CARE, THE TERRORISTS WIN.

*This message paid for by the Committee Appointed to Scare the Crap Out of Everybody for no Reason Whatsoever in Order to Kill Reforms that Might Not Help the Rich Get Richer, and The National Coalition of People Still Pissed Off We Lost the Election...Rush Limbaugh, President.*

Donnelly talks health care with Plymouth residents

By Rusty Nixon
Correspondent

PLYMOUTH – Congressman Joe Donnelly was in Plymouth to speak to the “Breakfast Club” at Pilgrim Manor on health care issues, and so far he isn’t in need of any medical assistance himself.
“I was talking with my friend and fellow Congressman Fred Upton (R – Michigan) the other day and he said, ‘I heard you had a town hall meeting with 250 people at it the other day,’” Donnelly told the crowd. “’If you don’t mind me asking are you still intact?’ I told him yes and he asked my secret. I told him to make sure you go to Church the day before.”
While there were no angry placards or overly harsh words, Donnelly did address concerned questions from those in attendance about current health care legislation before Congress. His main theme – be careful what you believe.
“A lot of the things you’re reading on the internet are not the way things are,” said Donnelly. “I had a woman at a meeting the other day tell me that she watched cable news before she went to bed and it made her so upset that she couldn’t sleep and asked my advice. I told her that I would turn off the TV and listen to a Frank Sinatra record. A lot of the things you are seeing on the news have no relationship to what we are actually working on.”
Donnelly spent much of his time urging his audience to “…have trust that there is some common sense left…” and outlining in detail the choices before Congress on the matter of health care. First of which is the fact that there isn’t just one bill up for consideration, but five different approaches.
“No bill has been voted on and this is a discussion with the American people,” said Donnelly. “The simple fact is that in 15-20 years our current health care system is not financially sustainable. We have to fix it.”
Donnelly stated that as a “Blue Dog” Democrat, he favored an approach that would have no cost, or such considerable cost savings that would make if fiscally responsible. He said that Senator’s Ron Wyden of Oregon and Bob Bennett of Utah have introduced such a plan.
“Some people just want to create controversy,” said Donnelly. “It’s hard to restore confidence to the American people when there are those out there talking about ‘Death Panels’. There are no such thing. A man at a meeting in Logansport who had a son with Down’s Syndrome that he called the ‘light of his life’ asked me why we would cut health care for people with Down’s Syndrome. He’d read it on the computer. Totally untrue. Why would anybody deny care to people who need it?”
He also outlined what he would like to see in any plan.
“I want to see competition,” said Donnelly. “I don’t want just one company bidding on your health care. I want four or five different companies competing for it as well. I want to keep the government out of it as much as possible, but we have to have a competitive system.”

Attention Producers of Burn Notice...My suggested plot line

Because he was a faithful viewer of the show "Burn Notice" Raul was prepared for just such an eventuality and using a wad of chewing gum, a shoe lace and simple household bleach he was able to easily extricate himself from his difficulty and snuff out the evil spy ring that threatened Democracy and toilets as we know them.

My new radio commercial

SFX - Mysterious music plays underneath

VOICE OVER

They say he drafted his first social reform legislation in 1951...Ten years before he was born.

He often completely redesigns entire economic systems...before breakfast.

He turned down Lassie...as a family pet.

He is...The Most Interesting President in the World.

BARACK OBAMA

I don't always drink beer, but when I do it's usually a pointless public relations stunt on the White House lawn.

Stay thirsty my friends.

In spite of the vaccine, Biff feared he might be turning French...

Biff and Raul's experiments in genetic engineering were all fun and games...until the day they crossed that wolverine with a blender...

My Speech Team Thingy

*Special thanks to John Verteramo for the photo.*

As I start this little memoir I have two confessions to make to Dan Tyree that have weighed heavily on my mind over the past 30 years, and I feel that I must come clean to purge my soul.

#1 – Yes, Dan, I did sleep in my suit on Friday nights so that I didn’t have to get up so early on Saturday morning.

I know that you conjectured on it, and even directly asked me about it several times but I was always able to skirt the issue by pointing and shouting, “Look behind you! A dinosaur!” and then running quickly the other way and shouting, “I don’t want to be late for my round.”

#2 – Yes, Dan, I did sit on top of a desk in the back corner of the classroom to deliver part of my speech in one of my state finals rounds, and, yes, there was a judge seated directly in front of me.

I was just following your instruction to converse with my audience and not talk at them. I got all ones in that round if it’s any consolation.

I think those two things kind of sum up our first team. Not that we were slovenly dressed and more than a little kooky – although we were. More that we had no idea what we were doing.

Nobody told us that you were NEVER supposed to be unorthodox. Nobody told us a first year team should NEVER be able to score the way we did. Nobody told us a team with only five entries could NEVER finish in the top three in the state championship – and might have actually won it if that idiot in Original Oratory hadn’t gotten a 6 from one of his judges in the final round. The critique was the guy’s suit looked like he’d slept in it, if I remember right.

Like most idiot savants we didn’t know what we were doing – we just did it.

I’m sure that everybody that shares here is going to write about the skills they learned from being part of the program: Enormous self confidence; To examine things critically and logically; To prepare tirelessly; To think quickly on your feet; and above all to communicate.

Every job that I have ever held I have gotten because of what I learned in Speech.

It was more than that for me. When I was a senior in high school Dan Tyree introduced me to the theatre. My English teacher, Norm Wagner, introduced me to William Shakespeare. I never would have found either on my own. With those skills I then was able to meet another man, the late Dr. Earl Reimer at Bethel College, who completed the job they had started in helping me to discover who I was.

Without the theatre and Shakespeare, my life would have been greatly diminished, and a much darker place.

I have had so many moments of joy in my life, moments of beauty, exhilaration, and sheer ecstasy in the time I spent writing and acting for the stage. So many moments with dear friends sharing those moments. So many lifelong, deep, important relationships that I never would have had without Dan Tyree walking up to me in the lunchroom in September of 1979 and saying, “We’re doing this play and I was wondering…”

Who would have thought that three of us, riding in Dan and Becky’s van to Logansport at 5 a.m. one Saturday, would turn into this?

I do have to relate my favorite speech memory of all – a true moment that will be burned forever in my memory: hitchhiking down the interstate in Georgia with Dan during spring break.

For the full story on that you will have to wait for my tell all book, “All I Ever Needed to Know I Learned in Speech”.

Addiction

I tried this. It doesn't work. Anymore.

Just thinking some things through...

If a tree falls in the forest, does the Pope trip over it and fall into the bear?

Pitching a new TV show

Jon and Kate minus $10,000,000?
What do you think?

Speaks for itself

Isn't this about the scariest thing you've ever seen?

There goes the neighborhood

I guess she didn't think the term "octomom" had gotten a bad enough rap.

Rimshot

If it wasn't for reality TV I would never have known that there were this many reprehensible, self absorbed, sociopaths out there.

And then there's the people on the shows...(SFX-Ba dum bum)

More Words of Wisdom from Neil...

"John Lennon once said, 'A man with his arms full of fast food, is either very hungry, or knows someone who is very hungry...'"

Aristotle turning over in his grave

Guantanamo is going to remain open for business.

I realize that I'm just a simple smart ass, but can somebody explain to me how denying people their rights makes us safer? Didn't the "Founding Fathers" that people are so proud of invoking have something to say about that?

A great songwriter I know once called that kind of thinking, "The Gospel of Bondage".

Sometimes I'm not sure if I'm as afraid of terrorism as I am of us.

When you pry it from my cold dead fingers...

You know it makes me feel so much safer to know that I now have to worry about having my head blown off in a National Park just the same as every city street.

Overheard conversation

"My God, Dude. I am SOOO relieved that it's you that has to sing that horrible winner's song and not me..."

Scientific Discovery

Scientists say they've discovered the missing link...What took them so long? He was President for eight years.

Flashback...

Aren't these guys the
"Children of the Corn"?

Funny...

You ever notice you never see Roger Clemens and Brett Favre in the same room at the same time?

A Plea to Adam Lambert

Dude, please listen to me.

I know, I know. What does a "never was" father of five who lives in Plymouth, Indiana know about the music biz? Probably nothing, but I will tell you that I've probably spent enough money on vinyl, tape, plastic and computer code recordings to have bought Sony's music division by now. There were times in college I bought a new record before I bought food.

I've been in bands, but I've mostly listened to music. It's an incredible passion for me, and I honestly say that there are only two things on this earth I couldn't live without; my family and my music.

As a child of the 60's I was taught that music transcended the things that separated us. That when used for good, by those who had devoted themselves to enormous skill, it could actually change the world.

Then they figured out you could also make more money than God.

Adam, for those of us who still believe that music can change the world, would you please lose next week?

Watching your skill, your enigmatic persona, your chameleon like quality to jump from genre to genre without any apparent awkwardness, it reminds me of David Bowie who refused to be tied to any sort of label and has always gone where the music took him.

Your skill and stage presence reminds me of Freddie Mercury, once again amazing company.

Don't get caught in that 19 package. Let your creativity take you where it will. Don't spend the rest of your musical life making Ford Fusion videos, and safe pop music.

Challenge us. Ennoble us. Take our breath away this week, even if it means you lose.

Don't get me wrong. I like "Idol". It's compelling television, and who doesn't want to thrill at watching "Cinderella" from Farmersburg, Iowa go from unknown to the American Idol?

But you aren't Cinderella.

There will always be a Brittany Spears. There will always be a Michael Jackson.

I have to admit that I cried watching you sing "One" the other night, because those of us that are a little older know that there won't always be a Bono...or a David Bowie...or a Freddie Mercury...or a John Lennon.

You owe your allegiance to your conscience and your art. Not 19.

Over/Under

So what week of the NFL season will the first beer bottle be angrily thrown in Jay Cutler's general direction, either at Soldier Field or at the big screen?

I'm taking week three...of the pre-season. Anybody else?

The courage to carry on

NAPPANEE – It was just a simple headache.
“She was complaining and we took her to the eye doctor because we thought she might need glasses,” said Tonya Rohr of her daughter Keri’s headaches. “He saw some trouble with the optic nerves and sent us to a neurologist. That’s when he found it.”
What the neurologist found was a malignant brain tumor. Nine year old Keri Rohr’s life had drastically changed.
“She was healthy for the most part so she was a little angry with us for making her go through this, for taking her life away really,” said Tonya. “She can’t go to school, she isn’t with her friends. It’s hard.”
With a diagnosis on January 2, Keri was in surgery three days later and then underwent six weeks of radiation treatment in Bloomington. She and her mother had to relocate to southern Indiana for that period of time.
Now she’s back in Nappanee, but undergoing heavy chemotherapy which leaves her with good days and bad days.
“Sometimes when I wake up I don’t feel good and no food really sounds good to me,” said Keri. “They say my taste buds are changing because nothing really tastes good. I’ve kind of lost my appetite.”
“We’re watching her waste away. We try to keep calories in her but it’s hard,” said Tonya.
The illness has affected the whole family. Tonya had to give up her job, and while husband Don has his job at J & N Stone in Wakarusa, the economy has hit them too. In it all the family still has a lot to be thankful for.
“Our church family has really helped us get through all this,” said Tonya. “They’ve helped us through all the emotional stuff that goes with it. While we were down there they had somebody with us every single day just to find out if we needed anything or any other way to help. I really don’t know how they managed that but they did.”
Along with the members of Nappanee Missionary Church, Keri has had some other helpers.
“I’ve met some very good people,” she said. “I miss my friends but I’ve made some new friends too and that’s made me feel better. They help me out because they know what it feels like.”
Family members have rallied too, with a golf scramble at Sprig-O-Mint Golf Course in Bremen scheduled for June 6. The money raised will go to offset the expenses incurred by the family. Interested parties can call Sprig-O-Mint at 574-546-2640 or Carol Lanning at 574-209-1817.
Meanwhile Keri will keep fighting. She has written about her experience on a website www.caringbridge.org/visit/kerirohr.
“I think I’m going to get well,” she said. “I’ve heard a lot of stories about people who had it at 15 and now they’re 60 and nothing has happened.”

Really, Really Random Thoughts

If you put Rush Limbaugh alone in a room with...wait a minute that won't work. You have to put Rush Limbaugh alone in a room because there isn't room for anybody else.


Should we be frightened that the best news coverage in this country is "The Daily Show"?


The only thing worse than the writing on "The Hills" is the acting.


I wouldn't want to be anywhere near the "Apprentice" stage. After the amount of energy expended Joan Rivers will certainly have to "feed" soon.


I've reached a crossroads in my life. I am now the "Anti-Demographic" for MTV.


I honestly don't know my cholesterol number. I'm worried that someday I'm going to get cut and bleed butter.

More words of wisdom from Neil...

"Sleep gives you cancer...everybody knows that."

You know, I've heard people say they just want to bake him cookies, and so do I...

...But they'd have ex-lax in them.

Things Brett Favre can do to occupy himself

It has occurred to me that Brett Favre just doesn't have a lot to do with himself without standing in front of camera's and microphones yelling "Look at me! I'm a selfish, spiteful ex-hero that isn't getting his rear end kissed enough!"

Being the compassionate, loving guy I am, I really want to help Brett out, so here are some suggestions:

Count your money
This could actually be fun and amazingly time consuming. It can also give a warm feeling of self worth to know how rich you've become, sliding through a college education most had to pay for and playing a kids game for your entire life. Or sliding on a pair of jeans and playing catch with a bunch of models that probably had to be hospitalized after catching your passes.

Hold something else hostage rather than the Green Bay Packers future
Maybe it's just that rush of dangerous excitement you miss, like trying to avoid Michael Strahan for three hours in the old days.
Why not try robbing a bank, or taking hostages? I mean you have experience there. The last five years of your career in Green Bay you held the franchise hostage, refusing to tell them if you were retiring or not until the draft had passed and they had kissed your behind sufficiently.
One warning, if somebody calls your bluff here you end up in jail, not with the Jets...come to think of it that really is kind of similar.

Along those lines, spend some time with Michael Strahan
There's an all time great, one of the very few in any sport, who got it right...quit while you're on top, before your skills diminish and people remember you as a bitter, washed up, has been who couldn't walk away. Kind of like...well...

SPEND SOME TIME WITH YOUR FAMILY!!

Get a part time job
I'm thinking greeter at Wal-Mart, maybe?

Find a cure for Swine Flu
That would get you back in the headlines.

Win your local Fantasy Football league
That would show them that not only should you still be quarterback, but you also should have been GM for all those years too.

Sit in front of your TV and drink beer on Sunday like the rest of us
It's really not that bad a way to go. Invite a few friends over and talk about how you would have done it when you played. It's what we all do.

Or better still, keep hanging on
I'm a Bear fan, man. I'm actually kind of enjoying this in a twisted sort of way.

Fugitive from the Library

Hi, I’m Huey and I’m a bookaholic.

Once I had a life. I was an investment advisor in fine art. I was good. I was rich. I lived in an exclusive neighborhood. Everyone loved me. I loved myself. That's all over now. Fate has played a cruel joke on me. I keep myself alive doing various odd jobs in the places I stop, but I can never stay long. I must keep running, always running trying to stay one step ahead of my pursuers. You see, I'm a fugitive from the library.

It started simply enough, keeping those James Michener novels until the due date. It was a head rush, and satisfied me for a while, but soon I found myself hoarding Hemingway and Faulkner until the third day of the three-day grace period. It wasn't long until I was into the harder stuff; Dostoevsky, Rousseau, Thomas Hardy. I knew I was in trouble the night I woke up at 3 a.m. with The Brothers Karamazov in my hands, and Jude the Obscure all over the living room. I had been unconscious for at least two days. God knows what other novels I might have consumed in that time.

There was never enough time to finish them. Soon I took that fateful step that would lead me to the state I'm in today; I stopped taking them back. I knew the consequences of my actions, but my need for novels had grown so intense that I would literally do anything to possess them.

The cards started first. You know, the `'Please return The Secret Sharer by Joseph Conrad so that others might enjoy it" card. I ignored them. I was too deeply into novels to think straight. I was up to four Charles Dickens a day. I knew I needed help when I started Turgnev, but there was no turning back after Fathers and Sons.

Then it happened. I was right in the middle of a collection of Marcel Proust, when I heard a knock at the door. I'd been inside for days devouring the complete works of Jean Paul Sartre, so I was pretty high. The knock came again. Unfortunately I might have to answer the door, and in my state of mind that was not a good idea. I went to the window and looked out just as the knock came again, but with a voice this time.

“This is the library police. You can't escape we've got the place surrounded. Now come out with your Vonnegut's up and nobody will get hurt.”

My God. The library police. The Gestapo had actually rejected their tactics as too cruel and unusual. My mind was racing. What should I do now? Should I give myself up and throw myself on their mercy? What would William Shakespeare do in a situation like this? Probably have a ghost appear on the battlement, but I didn’t have a ghost or a battlement for that matter.

“You’ll never take me alive copper,” I found myself saying. I knew I would regret using that Mickey Spillane.

Suddenly, I knew what I had to do. I ran to my bedroom and took out the gun in my drawer. Then I grabbed a copy of The Seaqull and threw open the front door.

“All right,” I yelled at them. “Nobody moves or Chekhov gets it!”

"He's not bluffing," said the officer in charge, "Everybody stay back."

"Here's the way it's going to work,' I said. 'You’re going to stand back and let me get in my car and drive away from here, understand?"

'Do what he says boys," the chief cop said. “He means it"

I got in my car, and drove off with Chekhov. He was my security. As long as I had Chekhov they wouldn't try anything.

We were on the road a few days when it happened. I saw a used book fair and I knew I had to fix soon. I locked Chekhov in the car and went to take a look. When I came back with some Goethe and Plato I was feeling very high. Then I saw it. The broken window and Chekhov was gone.

I threw Goethe and Plato in the backseat and got out of there as fast as I could. I knew it wouldn't be long before Chekhov brought the police. I didn't know how much of a head start I had. Soon I was out on the highway, each minute taking me further away from trouble.

I got as far as San Antonio before the car broke down. I left Goethe and Plato with it, and continued on foot. I would have taken them with me but I knew I could travel faster alone. I'd read a lot of Faulkner so I headed for California. They had jobs there, but even more so they had big libraries, with lots of novels. I knew I'd need to keep fixing.

I was able to hide from the authorities for several years. But I was unhappy. I don't know when, but I decided I needed to seek help. I think it was the day I woke up with the taste of a Harlequin Romance on my lips that I knew I had to seek a cure for my addiction. I enrolled myself in the Danielle Steel Clinic for those addicted to literature.

I was OKAY for the time being, but I would always be a bookaholic! And I was still a fugitive from the Library Police, but I knew how to handle them now. I knew the most powerful phrase in the English language: ”and they all lived happily ever after.”

Elvis Lives in my Basement

Elvis lives in my basement. He's not picky. He enjoys the privacy. He sleeps on the sofa sleeper and always keeps the rec' room nice and tidy.

We play darts together a lot. Elvis always lets me win.

He's very gracious. That's why he's The King.

Sometimes he picks a fight with Adolf Hitler who lives in my laundry room. But it's always just in fun.

Once Elvis went with me to the mall and entered an "Elvis Impersonator" contest and he won...which was nice.

When my friends come over he always graciously entertains them with a medley of Rogers and Hammerstein show tunes.

I don't ask for rent. After all...he's The King.

Random Questions While Watching the Cubs

Take a Walk on The Wild Side
Do you think Alfonso Soriano knows that if you take four pitches outside of the strike zone that they GIVE you first base?

Whose on Third
Do you think Cleveland would give Mark DeRosa back? I mean just for a little bit. We'd let them borrow somebody for awhile.

Hey...
How about Jeff Szmardija? He and Brady Quinn could hook up again and talk about what happened to their careers.

Witness Protection Program
Has anybody seen Mark Prior lately? Maybe we should call his apartment or something and make sure he's okay.

Just Wondering
Can somebody tell me, what exactly is it that Aaron Miles was supposed to be good at...besides growing a really spiffy beard that is.

What do you think?

We've had a new President for 100 days...What do you think? Can you really tell anything in 100 days?

Just Thinking Out Loud...

Do you think the Chicago Bears could take their federal bail out money in receivers?

Getting Started

I had a boss once who said the internet was just a passing fad.

I think he had a lot of stock in "White Out"....